It's nearing my 3 month stay here and I have a few more days until I here the verdict of whether I get to stay longer or not. I do not think I can handle staying longer as a Tourist. It's such a big change from my previous life of a few months ago where I had everything my way, had my own things with me - that I worked hard for and paid for with my own money. I had my own king-size bed, my own walk-in closet where my clothes where neatly placed on black hangers, colour coordinatated.
Being vegetarian, I would routinely go to my favourite organic store, WHOLEFOODS to buy the usual, Odwalla Juices, Edamame, Couscous, Hummus, veggies, Kombucha etc ... etc ... oh and of course my Fiji water. Funny, but the lady that researched on the different types of water from all over the world and their property values was German, Dr. Barbara Hendel. Her book, Water & Salt was first published in Germany and what?! No Fiji water any where to be found.
Plazes.Com. The largest and fastest growing wifi site was founded in Germany by a couple of really cool guys! And what?!! No free wifi in Frankfurt Germany!!! What's up with that?!
Oh! And did I mention I use to have a car. All paid up for! 5 years of making payments .. and out of desperation, I sold it for extra money to get my ass over here - and now I walk. It's not too bad. The walking is good. It helps burn off the extra calories from all the potatoes, bread and butter that I've had to resort to eating. *sigh*
As well, I have never worn FLAT shoes, unless it was to take an emergent trip to the drugstore at, like 2 am in the morning, but now, all I can wear are my Sketchers. I've only worn my Sketchers, like 4 times in 4 years while living in Houston!
Now, all my jeans, whose lengths are perfect for my 3 inch heeled shoes now all have tears at the bottom of the hems. And it's not like I can afford to buy jeans or anything else for that matter.
My friends in Houston, My Eddie and Freya have recently helped me out. My Eddie sent $300 U.S. to a PayPal account - which is like, $210. euro. Just enough to pay the $80 euro for a conditional Residence Permit, to buy the essential 'a female cannot live without' items, such as, a jar of Pond's Cold Cream that I have been using for like 12 years, John Frieda's Shampoo (I know, this is a luxury for some but for me it is essential. It is the only product for my hair that does not dry it! And I am NOT about to compromise on the 'female essentials'. God knows I already willingly compromised on everything else!
Hell, that is what alimony is all about! To maintain the lifestyle and quality of living that a spouse was use to prior to the divorce. In this case, no one divorced me. It was I, that had divorced my self from a life that I had in Houston.
Real Life Ysabel is still slowly getting acclimated to her new surroundings. That's for sure.
There are days when I feel terribely homesick. There are days when yes .. I hate to say it, but I feel unwanted and neglected. Fancy that! Words or emotions muttered by such an independent woman such as I! But .. when one is in a strange land and does not speak the language. When she needs to illicit the help of people who talk the language and need to discuss matters of importance - mainly dealing with her status in Germany, with others .. and you do not understand what they are saying .. and the right to know what to say and when to say things and what to ask seems to be taken away because of a language barrier .. WHOA! That totally leaves even the most independent MAN - security challenged!
What do I miss most?
My King sized Bed. My Closet. My two dogs. My friend(s) that love me. Being able to do what I want and say want I want. My food. My car. My Life.
Ah.. but aren't I suppose to be starting a new life here? Huh?!