Thursday, August 23, 2007

Metaverses: Their Effects on the Greater Consciousness

Fond memories flood my mind when I look back on my childhood days. Days of biking through open fields and wandering the ravines that backed our townhome. Of collecting rocks and burying shoeboxes full of 'perceived' treasures to be found by some other child of the future. I remember my collection of pressed leaves and the odd dead 'bug' that I would find and keep enclosed in a glass jar to be later analyzed. I remember the reams and reams of 'code' that I developed for my secret spy ring that would be scotch taped to the back wall of my closet, hidden carefully behind my hanging clothes.

I am remembering all these things as I sit here underneath a tree in a city park with my laptop, wirelessly accessing the 'information superhighway', as it was called back in the early '90's, while my avatar (a pixelated online representation of myself) is dressed in construction worker attire, creating a commercial build for a Japanese company in Second Life (an online virtual world created by Linden Lab of San Francisco).

"two paradigm shifts within a decade ..."

I have been immersed in the digital medium before it even became a reality to the rest of mainstream. When Nicholas Negroponte's book, "Being Digital" came out in 1995 I read that book cover to cover and twice over that same week. My thoughts were deeply intertwined with the concepts and visions that he had presented.

"Being Digital" reminded me of Alvin Toffler's book, "Future Shock", that came out in 1970. Both books stand side by side one another on a book shelf.

Both these books had a considerable impact on the way I viewed the world. I have realized that I had lived my life being aware that I was amidst an era of immense technological change and advancement - thus opening and preparing my mind for the world of the future. A future where children's experiences would be so different from that of my childhood. A future that would see two paradigm shifts within a decade and would become privy to witnessing their impact on our daily lives, in a global scale.

The first paradigm shift was the advent of the world wide web when it became accessible to the mainstream. Because of this 2D Platform I was able to sit on my bed and book a plane ticket to Europe, transfer funds from within my bank accounts, upload photos of my chihuahua to an online page to be viewed by my friends in another hemisphere and talk to my partner in Germany using Voice over Internet Protocol (VoIP) all while watching the CNN morning news in video format - from my laptop (a laptop that was not connected to any cable or power source!)

"Closing the gap of the Digital Divide is inevitable."

The second paradigm shift actually started occurring almost simultaneously along with the 2D Platform - the creation of 3D virtual worlds or metaverses.

It behooves me to think that with all the hype Second Life received from the mainstream media being a platform for collaboration with education, the arts and various other projects, there have been other 3D platforms that have been quietly doing the same for the past decade, all with a healthy following of Real Life businesses, universities and the like. New metaverses are also being created by the handful almost every month (don't quote me on this, this is just suspect).

One 3D platform to watch out for is HiPiHi Ltd, a Chinese based company whose founder and CEO, Hui Xu was recently quoted as saying in a recent press release, "It is just a beginning of the globalization of the 3D virtual world." - just the beginning is an understatement.

I am NOT about to make a comparison between other metaverses (that is a whole other blog in itself). In my head, however, I am wondering what impact, both positive and negative, will these metaverses have on our societies. I can only wonder that on one planet alone, our earth, we have so many variables that keep us distanced from one another, religion, race, politics, sexual orientation, just to name a few.

Metaverses are being created where people can choose which platform or platforms best suits their tastes - will these metaverses separate us even more, I wonder.

In 2005 I blogged an entry about how Second Life can actually be used as a testing platform for improvement of Real Life social, business, industrial and educational models. It would be a place where we can create, improve and implement 'things that will work' for the benefit of the other 3D world (planet earth) and perhaps, humanity as a whole. Back then, I was only aware of Second Life and ignorant to the other 3D worlds that have been around for more than a decade. Second Life to me was the ultimate communication tool 'on cocaine'. Visions of a better world - through the use of Second Life's platform sent my mind reeling off in tangents.

This lead me to begin my journey into 3D platforms and other metaverses. This also lead me to realize the inevitable, possible, perceived 'separateness' that metaverses would have on 'us'. Or would it?

Then I thought ...

I remembered a few years ago reading something on Group Souls and Twin Soul Mates. It has suddenly struck me that with 'like minds attracting', these various metaverses may serve, on a metaphysical level, platforms for Group Souls to get together and achieve common goals. This thought appeased me, somewhat. I will continue to observe these various metaverses and follow up on blog entries and the like, on how these metaverses are changing and impacting our global society.

After these thoughts had raced through my mind, I took a charcoal pencil and quickly drew what came into my mind. The drawing was this.

Later, I logged into Second Life and made a 3D representation of the sketch.

The middle sphere represents the earth. The other smaller spheres around the 'earth' represent the different metaverse platforms that exist. Each metaverse platform, esoterically, also represents a Group Soul. There would be many more Group Soul groups, I only chose a handful of smaller spheres for easy visual. The larger, transparent sphere, where the 'earth' and the Group Soul spheres are enclosed in, represents the Global of Greater Consciousness.

My theory is this:

Each metaverse serves as a platform for various 'like minds' to connect and collaborate as they see fit. There may be similiar projects being collaborated on in the other metaverses and that is a good thing because ultimately the energies of all are somehow connected and related anyway and on an esoteric level, increasing the 'frequency' or 'vibrational' qualities of a specific 'thought project' .

I intend to explain this theory in more detail, but for now I will leave it as is. There are other 3D platforms I need to discover and explore and I hope to bring to you more insight into all of them.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Dancing in the dark ..

It was already past midnight in RL and yet, there I was, breakdancing in SL.
I attended a Sim opening of an RL artist (Socorrow Villa) in SL. I had almost forgotten about the opening until she kindly IM'd me to remind me.

Funny, but I was just about to log off of SL when I received her IM.

In RL, Fim Fischer's (my SL partner) human was getting ready for bed and I wanted to time my logging off with him. I had just finished rezzing the AU BUILD rez-faux package on Virtuoland HQ when I got the IM for Een. I had to go. Afterall, she attended the 1st TOUCH Online Magazine launch and I wanted to show my support. I am also in the middle of writing up an interview piece with her so it was my chance to take some SL photos.

I felt strange attending an SL function without Fim there.

We use to be inseparable in SL. Not only were we inseparable in SL but we were also inseparable in RL via VoIP. If it were not for sleeping - we would have been always in SL and always on VoIP.

The even stranger thing is, now that we are in RL together, we are now never in SL together. And .. while we are in RL physically, if we are at home, we usually are apart, sitting at our respective corners, in front of our monitors.

I know I did not start this. I would much rather live in RL, however, now that we have an RL business that involves SL - rightly so, that we should be on our computers logged into SL - for WORK.

As it is, we do not even work together in SL - and are still learning to work together in RL. *sigh*

Anyway it was strange not having Fim with me. This was the first social function I have attended in SL - without Fim, eversince we met in RL.

I wonder if it's a sign.

My avatar was dancing while I was sitting in the dark watching Fim's human sleep and hearing his soft snores. It was bright on Gaea .. but for me, it felt as if I was dancing in the dark.

It's getting mightly lonely in RL. I sometimes wish I never left SL. I sometimes wish I never allowed the Fim and Ysabel relationship to leave SL. We had so much fun in SL. RL is often lonely.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Friday, August 3, 2007

My Soul Sister Across the Ocean

I met my soul sister awhile back. She had found me amongst the countless other pixelated souls in Second Life. It was meant to be. Second Life never ceases to amaze me. I have yet to remind myself that Second Life is just another platform for my learning to take place and meeting people in this metaverse is of course, meant to be.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

The Reality of Real Life

It's nearing my 3 month stay here and I have a few more days until I here the verdict of whether I get to stay longer or not. I do not think I can handle staying longer as a Tourist. It's such a big change from my previous life of a few months ago where I had everything my way, had my own things with me - that I worked hard for and paid for with my own money. I had my own king-size bed, my own walk-in closet where my clothes where neatly placed on black hangers, colour coordinatated.

Being vegetarian, I would routinely go to my favourite organic store, WHOLEFOODS to buy the usual, Odwalla Juices, Edamame, Couscous, Hummus, veggies, Kombucha etc ... etc ... oh and of course my Fiji water. Funny, but the lady that researched on the different types of water from all over the world and their property values was German, Dr. Barbara Hendel. Her book, Water & Salt was first published in Germany and what?! No Fiji water any where to be found.

Plazes.Com. The largest and fastest growing wifi site was founded in Germany by a couple of really cool guys! And what?!! No free wifi in Frankfurt Germany!!! What's up with that?!

Oh! And did I mention I use to have a car. All paid up for! 5 years of making payments .. and out of desperation, I sold it for extra money to get my ass over here - and now I walk. It's not too bad. The walking is good. It helps burn off the extra calories from all the potatoes, bread and butter that I've had to resort to eating. *sigh*

As well, I have never worn FLAT shoes, unless it was to take an emergent trip to the drugstore at, like 2 am in the morning, but now, all I can wear are my Sketchers. I've only worn my Sketchers, like 4 times in 4 years while living in Houston!

Now, all my jeans, whose lengths are perfect for my 3 inch heeled shoes now all have tears at the bottom of the hems. And it's not like I can afford to buy jeans or anything else for that matter.

My friends in Houston, My Eddie and Freya have recently helped me out. My Eddie sent $300 U.S. to a PayPal account - which is like, $210. euro. Just enough to pay the $80 euro for a conditional Residence Permit, to buy the essential 'a female cannot live without' items, such as, a jar of Pond's Cold Cream that I have been using for like 12 years, John Frieda's Shampoo (I know, this is a luxury for some but for me it is essential. It is the only product for my hair that does not dry it! And I am NOT about to compromise on the 'female essentials'. God knows I already willingly compromised on everything else!

Hell, that is what alimony is all about! To maintain the lifestyle and quality of living that a spouse was use to prior to the divorce. In this case, no one divorced me. It was I, that had divorced my self from a life that I had in Houston.

Real Life Ysabel is still slowly getting acclimated to her new surroundings. That's for sure.

There are days when I feel terribely homesick. There are days when yes .. I hate to say it, but I feel unwanted and neglected. Fancy that! Words or emotions muttered by such an independent woman such as I! But .. when one is in a strange land and does not speak the language. When she needs to illicit the help of people who talk the language and need to discuss matters of importance - mainly dealing with her status in Germany, with others .. and you do not understand what they are saying .. and the right to know what to say and when to say things and what to ask seems to be taken away because of a language barrier .. WHOA! That totally leaves even the most independent MAN - security challenged!

What do I miss most?

My King sized Bed. My Closet. My two dogs. My friend(s) that love me. Being able to do what I want and say want I want. My food. My car. My Life.

Ah.. but aren't I suppose to be starting a new life here? Huh?!

Friday, June 29, 2007

Where's the inspiration ..

Blah .. it's been cold lately and it's summertime so I don't understand it really. I've taken numerous RL photos and barely any SL photos. I still hang out in Second Life to keep in touch with inworld friends and also to 'work'? If it weren't for these two things then I would just as well leave Second Life altogether to work on enhancing and enjoying my Real Life.

Blah.. perhaps I am just in need of dire inspiration. Perhaps I have extended myself onto so many other blogs that I am experiencing 'blog text block'. Who knows.

All's well the ends well - and so far nothing has ended ... or began?


Monday, June 4, 2007

Photo Journalist SEEKS Writers, Artists, Ads

Here's a PLUG for a magazine I work with *smiles*

Writers wanted:
Professional, aspiring or other, for article/story submissions for the 1st TOUCH Magazine Summer Edition. If your article/story inspires and can touch the hearts and lives of readers then contact us. We want to meet with you.

Artists wanted:
To grace the pages of 1st TOUCH with visual and thought inspiring work that shows a connection between Real Life and Second Life. If you would like your work to be shown in one of SL's thought provoking and art focused magazines then contact us. We want to meet you.

Ads wanted:
Do you have a business or service that you would like to tell people about? Then please contact us for advertising information.
(Sorry, due to the nature of 1st TOUCH, we will not be accepting ads that are of a 'sexual' or 'mature' related content - we are not that kind of a magazine. But we are in no way against these types of businesses or services.)

For a copy of the 1st TOUCH Spring Edition simply teleport to the df design studio at [envy] to pick up your copy.

Sunday, June 3, 2007

Home is where the heart is ...

The street where I now live is lined with pastel coloured, pre-war, apartment buildings. One part leads to streets and a community that is abundant with little shops, bakery's, cafe's, ethnic restaurants and art galleries. The city's University is just around the corner so the area is always filled with interesting people to look at.

On the other end of the street are steps that lead to a quaint little park. We pass this park on the way to the nearby train station or to the heart of the district.

There is no street in the world that I would rather live on, than on this one. It is the street where my new home is - a special place that I share with the one I love.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

WIndow of Opportunity

The winds of change have taken me across the Altantic Ocean to Deustchland. This is a good thing. It would be nice to photograph life in another country.

I only regret not recounting the events that had lead me thus far as it happened. Perhaps during rainy days, I will start to write the events as they have occurred, chronologically.

As this blog is much about photographing my experiences in Second Life, it will now include photographs of my Real Life. The reason is simple. My Second Life has just recently merged with my Real Life! The avatar that I had met on December 24, 2006, who had proposed to me on the very night of our meeting (within minutes of our meeting), is now very much a part of my Real Life.

I am pleased to say that Fim Fischer and Ysabel Isabella have courageously crossed the boundaries of Second Life and made the decision to carry on their *partnership* in Real Life.

As for now, it is just enough to say that I am happy and in love with my new home.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007 coverage

Just wanted to let you all know that an article on the df design group was written for

I met Diago Quaranta while on my way to the ITE 2007 Conference at Silicon Island last Friday April 20th. Actually, he had IM'd me as I was waiting for the conference to start, so I decided to tp him over.

The interview took place at the gallery's 2nd floor at [envy] where the Collective Project exhibits are on display. He was a very personable young gentleman, working at as a journalism intern. It was one of the easiest interviews I had ever done ... and it felt 'nice' to be on the 'questioning' end, for once.

The article can be viewed here.

Real Life Blog Just Launched!

My partner, Fim Fischer and I have decided to go 'open source' to so speak. Our decision to not only merge our second lives with our real lives has gone further towards emerging slowly into Real Life.

Our first venture starts with today's launch of the Villadar+Link Blog. This bold and courageous act of no longer keeping both lives separate and private will pioneer this new 'convergence' of the 3D client with the REAL 3D World.

For more updates and with the latest news go to the Villadar+Link Blog.

Introducing : AD MOO!! A new way of Branding!

Okay, *branding* as in advertising branding, not cow branding. In case the SL Animal Rights Committee takes wind of this and wants to investigate further the legitimacy of this concept, I will make it known in here - that I have nothing to hide!

Ummmmm *hide* as in *not reveal* and not to be mistaken as *cow hide*. Crap, why don't I just stop here and shoot myself. *smiles*

AD MOO may perhaps be an old dog with a new twist. Cow's have been around the advertising realm for decades. They are non-threatening, large enough to hold their own presence ... and the latter is exactly what I will focus on, to let the market know that df design is a young and up and coming force in the design piece field.

For more information on AD MOO email or simply IM me inworld.

df design | summer catalog 2007 now available

This shot was taken for the back page of the new catalog. I had always wanted to get back into publishing something and the second issue of 1st Touch Magazine is still in the planning.
Now that I have made enough design pieces to make up a small catalog, I went for it.
It wasn't difficult at all. I used the THINC Printing Press with the latest THINC Book 2.0 Version. The only challenging thing was to make sure all the textures and photos were numbered correctly *meaning no spaces between the number and the title of the file* and that they all had FULL RIGHTS.
I already had the design in my head and the colours I used were of course the same as the df logo.
The photo above shows the catalog from all sides.
The fun part was to design a vendor that I felt comfortable with and that went in line with the overall 'feel' of the df design creative. I think this vendor was the best I could have done. It took me a good few hours playing with the shape of it but then it all finally came together.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Love & Inspiration,

Every once in awhile, the power of love shows its' strength thru 'inspiration'.
After months of lulling over what new projects I could get my hands into I suddenly fell into the mode of furniture design.

I always found enjoyment in searching for special pieces to go into special places but it was jut recently that I decided to take control of what pieces were to be imagined for whatever place .. by designing them myself.

After our first build together, replicating my RL loft, I had painstakingly re-created my RL bed, kitchen and bathroom. My partner liked the re-creations and had always mentioned that I should venture out into furniture - to which I would 'roll my eyes' and laugh. "Me, make furniture? Hahahahha, never!"

Never say never.

It only took one day to create a few pieces enough to fill a humble retail space.
I went to [envy] and approached Kode Forager who upgraded my 2 story space into a whopping 2 story, ocean front, boardwalk accessible, extravagant build that not only displays my design creations but also a 'collaborative art gallery' as well.

I settled in, in a matter of a few hours.

You don't always see the 'rainbow' until after the rain, but the inspiration for the df design :: studio & gallery was certainly Fim. The model was in me all along, but with his love had encouraged it to blossom.

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

A Real Life Occurance

Every now and then a 'Real Life Occurance' juxtiposes itself, disabling my second life during a certain time frame. The lack of free wifi access and the limitations of certain handheld mobile devices makes it impossible to seemlessly merge my real life with my second life, hence ... my absence.

Not to mention the death of an overworked and under paid hard drive being an absolute obstacle - yeah think?!

This 'period' did allow me the time to engage in real life activities, like driving, eating, actually talking to real life people that didn't involve *tap tap tapping* sounds of a keyboard and feeling the warm wind on my face *smiles*.

Nevertheless, this photojournalists life, be it real, second or other, never runs out of the possibility of challenge and change.

More later .... I just noticed that the grid is now up!

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Work, Work, Work.

Now that the build is complete and the 'Digital Femme Brand' continues to have a physical presence in SL, I managed to sit down in the new dining room - alone. I wasn't too hungry. For the past two days I've been nibbling on chocolate chip cookies and expresso. So as you can see I was totally wired. Caffeine and chocolate may not be good for A.D.D. but heck, at least I finished the build in less than 24 hrs.

The sun was starting to rise and I didn't realize what time or what day it was. I am sure the delayed exhaustion will soon set it. Until then, I think I will continue to keep myself busy until I drop dead. *smiles* That's an English expression for, "fall asleep".

I decided to sit at the drafting table and plan out my next project and design. I've decided to focus on the style I love best.. which is ultra modern/minimalist/zen.

I realize that there are a sleuth of other design styles.. but I figure, I'd rather build what I LIKE. Besides, a true artist creates what he/she loves and not for the masses. Isn't that what art is all about? Subjective?

I plan on becoming known for a certain style and prefecting it. However, how can one perfect a style? And I also wonder how many designs can I create with just one style?

Surely, I'll probably osmose some other design style that I've seen or dreamt of or whatever ... that usually happens I am sure.

Oh well. I think I'll just sit here and see what the imagination can drum up.

One thing about A.D.D. - you can never run out of things to keep you busy. And BUSY is what I plan on being for the next couple of weeks until I can shake this break-up thing.

Hopefully, I'll wake up and forget .... or be so busy, immersed from one thing to another that if I ever do stop to think ... well, I might confuse the reality with a dream and just assume that all that WAS A DREAM.

Now, what to do, what to do ... hmmmmm .....

End of an Era :: Time for New Beginnings

End of an Era! What an understatement that is.

The parcel that I bought back in December where I first discovered that I could actually put two prims together, and where I had envisioned a place for myself (even if only in this world) where I could be 'me' (a me I did not have the chance to be in RL) was sold.

A 3 month SL relationship that flourished and survived its way in RL has ended.

And my 3 year and 1 month and 16 day old Powerbook, has died. Yup! I was working on a new build earlier today when SL crashed. I restarted and zilcho, nada, niete, nunca, you get the picture. When the computer powered up, I saw the APPLE logo for the last time ... then everything turned to a bluish hue. You got it, that infamous
"Blue Screen of Death" - the one that marks the end of life of a hard drive. Oh well. Now I really have to get a new laptop! YAY! DUO Core Processor here I come!

OMG! What do they say about 'bad things or bad news?' That they come in threes (3's)
Phew! I got my three, I guess everything gets better from here?

Hadn't had time to take photos much of my daily SL.

I ended up finding this priceless piece of parcel in the Beverly Hills Sim, fronting the water on a hill. 4096 sqm with DOUBLE Prims to boot and I only paid L$55000. Is that a deal or what?!

So, of course I've been busy rebuilding a Digital Femme Presence once again.

I also bought a nice piece of parcel nearby and on daily inspection found a piece of a house? on the land. It turned out to be a neighbours. She told me that "Oh by the way, I was going to buy the parcel you are on. I spoke to the owner to bring the price down from L$80000 to L$50000 and he did. I went looking for a house too fit the land and when I came back it was taken."

Hmmm, what was I suppose to say? I apologized perfusely but really what else was there to do. I was not about to give away Prime Real Estate - after all, it's all about LOCATION. LOCATION. LOCATION. *smiles* And believe you me, there are only a few peeps in SL that can say the live in Beverly Hills!

Which comes to mind.. I am starting to see the same ol' same ol' pattern of mine. Trying something new and once I find out I can do it - moving on to something else. Well, I've moved on to Real Estate. Not full throttle mind you, but just here and there little deals. Not even much but just a few. It's rather fun .. especially when you log on and find that your total Linden Dollar amount had suddenly increased.

I still need to find land for the art gallery. Hmmmm.. I just might turn that other parcel nearby Beverly Hills into the Art Gallery Home. Not sure if I can pull it off. Does having an art gallery constitute a "small business?"

I might do it anyway until I get a complaint or hear from one of the Sim admins.

Ohhhh how I love to tempt the rules *smiles*

Which by the way, I hardly ever follow RL rules. The only rules I will ever follow are the rules of the Universe.

Well, I've taken care of 2 solutions out of the three bad lucks. What to do with the other? Not sure. There is nothing I CAN do.

But I know me, and soon, I will learn to eject all remnants of the past and then it will only be a page in my book of life.

What was that saying I always touted for myself? Ah yes, Love and Let go, Love and Let go. The story of my life. Why should this be any different.

So glad I remembered that. It's funny how certain 'life themes' continue. I thought that surely this "Love and Let go" would be different this time around. Silly me! What was I thinking?!

Que Sera Sera!

Monday, March 26, 2007

Today, Love Hurts.

Today I will be weak.
I will walk into my 'secret garen' and allow myself to be vunerable.
I will share my vunerability here because it is like this: "If a tree falls down in a forest and you do not here it, did it still make a sound?"

If I sit here crying because I allow it and no one hears me or sees me, is my crying all in vain?

I say I am a photojournalist. And I am.

I take photographs of life with my eyes and try not to use my 'filters of perception' to distort the true meaning of the image that is captured and saved in my brain.

And for every photo ... every moment that is recorded, my heart has a caption.

Today my vision is blurred, thru the tears that cover my eyes and today my heart has this caption for what is blurred to me:

"Even when I did not know you
I knew you existed
My eyes do not have to see you
in order to know 'you are there'
but the meeting in avatar form
was but a mere window of opportunity
that the Universe did allow for us
to see what there was to see
not with our eyes but with our hearts.

Now my eyes are blurred but the
vision in my heart is still clear.
Your existence has become reality for me
and your love, a cosmic gift.

We really are two souls that have been seeking one another for many lifetimes.
So our meeting was not by chance. It was destiny.
That is what you always would say anyway.
But we still carry the burdens of a 3 dimensional world
and the HIGHER LOVE within us cannot exist freely
if we still choose to hold onto our ego's.

Why can't we just let go of these burdens?
Why can't we just bask in the LIGHT of our LOVE?
Why is our physical always trying to find ways
to destroy the spiritual?

Today, I do not have the anwser.
And I may never find that answers to those questions.
But I am sure that the answer is there.
It will present itself when my heart is ready to see.

Today, my heart can only see you.

I will miss you.

Parlez Vous Français?

Yes, yes, yes, I realize I am a week late with this post but I am not going to let another week go by without mentioning this here. I'm only a little disappointed, as this 'press party' was exactly that, for the 'press' to preview the new Jean-Paul Gaultier perfume "Fleur du Mâle".

My dear friend Ben Vanguard of www.slmen.comwas fortunate enough to experience a double reality! His job in RL working for a famous Ad Ageny in Paris met with his project in SL, creating For him he can truly say, "WORLD's COLLIDE!" Bravo Ben!

Well, the French did it again! Always at the cutting edge of Fashion and Style, and now they've managed to bring their marketing strategies into this generation's newest and hottest platform, 3D Web.

Vera Wang, Michael Kors. eat your heart out!

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Faces of me ...

Upon entering Second Life

In love

Still in love

After the divorce - hey, they say that hair holds a memory, so I had to chop it off. Yes. The Divorce actually hurt - even if it was only SL.

Recovering and starting to become ME again .. but not quite.

It's the end of an era.

I now wonder about that era, especially when it never really seemed to 'take off' the way it was supposed to.
I had a dream. I had a plan. I thought I executed it pretty well.
I bought land, I built on it, landscaped it and soon it had occupants that actually liked to stay. I thought of expanding into what I had always wanted to do in RL - open are Art Gallery.

An Art Gallery. It was to be my 'baby'. Something that would keep me busy and in touch with the art world both in SL and RL.
I could actually realize my dream and it would also be a place to display my digital photos in another venue.

Then something happened that came so suddenly.
I had forgotten my dream, my plan, I had abandoned my Second Life for the 'time and acceptance' of someone that did not even care what I did. *sigh*

I was stumped. As a woman, I fell into that mode of 'leaving my dreams and projects and work just to spend time with a man that did not really support me, unless it involved 'something for him'. *sigh*

My land. My 21000+ sqm land that I bought back in December '06 - I sold. I sold it on an emotional whim.
I sold it to prove to this man that I was 'not attached to virtual land'. I sold it to prove that I could have what it takes to do business .. when all along, I always KNEW I was good in sales and was very good with people.

He just never saw that. He thought he knew way more than I because of what I was in RL. But he did not even KNOW ME. He did not know my skills or talents or strength (or perhaps he refused to see them) ... he did not take the time to see what was in front of him all along.

This was not his fault. It was mine. I made decisions based on the mere fact that I wanted him to still love me.
When in fact, I NEEDED to LOVE MYSELF.

Hmmmm, you live and you learn. Even in SL you live and learn.

Where do I stand now?

I am not sure.

I know I need to regain the ME that I had forgotten about. I think I have regained ME. I am strong, I am talented, I have skills, I am likeable and most important I do not 'HAVE TO' or WILL never need to prove to anyone WHO I AM and WHAT I AM.

The only person that needs to be sure of that is - ME. After all, it is ME who has to ultimately live within my own SKIN.

I have blogged about this very issue of women BEING WHO THEY ARE, despite what any man or anyone says, and well, I fell.
Am I angry? Oh yes! I am angry at myself. I am disappointed that I allowed things to happen in my second life this way. It was my choice to do what I wanted to do even if the underlying reasons were wrong.

But I am back again on the right track. I am ME again, and this energy alone was enough to meet wonderful people these past few days that actually appreciate my skills and ME.

I will be very busy with my SL projects and I am excited to get back to the swing of things, PRE-MAN *smiles*

The Art Gallery is gone. The owner of the land that I sold to deleted it. *sighs* Oh well, I can always rebuild another one. The thing that gets to me though.. is now, I feel I have to START MY SL ALL OVER AGAIN ... when I should not have to.

Take note female readers ... always listen to your 'gut instinct' - it never steers you wrong. NEVER.

For the past few months, I had mine MUTED.

Thursday, March 1, 2007

After finally finished building the 'Theatre in the Park' I had to stop and take a rest. I sat on the stool on the stage and imagined a crowd of avatars all sitting and cheering .. or listening intently to whatever was going on at the front.
Someday, this stage will bring in all forms of talent that people can appreciate.
Someday, this stage will hold up an avatar whose words and ideas will resonate among the masses.
Someday, a poem will be recited here .. and it will touch the heart of one person.
That was then...

I found this photograph that was taken when the equipement was added to the stage.
I later took down the 'Theatre in the Park' after having a talk with my good friend Rosedrop Rust .. about 'live streaming'.
I wanted the Emerald Isle to be a place where people can feel safe to live, work and play.
I had to rethink the Theatre location.
I didn't want to create unnecessary lag for the residence so I chose not to have the Theatre at Emerald.
For now, the build sits in my inventory along with all the other lighting and sound equipment .. waiting for a home.


There's nothing like spinning a set of great tunes for a great crowd at a great venue!
I would mention the name of the place but for the life of me .. the name slipped my mind.
It was one of those nights that even an avatar like me can place on her list of "things I did that were WOW!"
This was definitely a WOW experience. All you need to know was that the Bee Gee's never sounded so good!

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

If At First You Don't Succeed, Bring a Friend

After my near bloody SL death from my first skydiving attempt, I made sure to read the notecard that came with the parachute .. on how to open it. "Haste makes waste" and in that case, "Haste could have made serious avatar waste" had this been RL. OMG! What am I saying. I decided to bring a friend along who had never skydived before. Did we have fun?! Oh Yes! And then some!

I hired a photographer friend to take photos of our descent. I wasn't too pleased with the results. I could've done way better.. but then again, beggars can't be choosers.

On our 5th skydive I did not see my partner back at the launch site. I had this funny ache in my stomach too. I waited for a bit, then decided to go to the landing site ... I did not find him there.. but instead heard a lot of commotion just a few meters away. And this is what I saw ... *gasp*

It turned out that my partner's chute had failed to open and he landed right on the road after having hit a few trees on the side of the mountain. He not only landed on the road but a guy failed to stop when he saw him, and ran him over!~

A passerby stopped to help. He wanted to take my friend to the hospital. I *snickered*. The intention was good but ummmm .... do they even have a hospital in SL? Do they even need a hospital in SL? Hmmm? Partner still could not get up. Either something was broken or he was left temporarily script paralyzed.

Well, the passerby decided to pass on by, promising to find a hospital or an ambulance or whatever, while the 'hit and stay' dude insisted on hanging around jamming out his hip hop tunes from his 14 inch sub woofers. Meanwhile, partner was still down and 'inoperable'.

All of a sudden, we were deserted and there wasn't another avatar around for miles. I had to compose myself. I felt helpless and wished I knew what to do in cases such as these, but I didn't remember seeing a Linden Lab handbook for "What to do with inoperable scripts!"

Then miracles of miracles!
Partner just as easily got up and started walking again!
Nothing was rendered 'inoperable'!
It was as if the entire scene was a blurr!

All was well in Second Life!
I think we'll just stick to motorcylce riding for awhile.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Photographic Memory

My memory is long filled with many photographs of life's moments all strung together in an endless verse of song.
The voices fade into one another creating a melody so familiar to my heart.
And the feeling of the emotion that rises thru the past becomes one again with my soul.

Waking up from a dream: human and spirit

It's easy to wake up from a dream in RL but it's not often pleasant unless of course it's a nightmare.

But what if there was a world were you could make all your dreams come true? And even things you could never imagine, you'd be able to experience? What if there was a place where you could live out your fantasies or play out your past? And what if there was a way to work out your weaknesses and RL issues with minimal risk?

I found that very place. It's called Second Life.

If you were to live out your dreams in Second Life (SL) then there would be no need to wake up. Or would there?

What becomes of dreams that can be materialized in the mind and brought forth thru the use of vision and a few Linden dollars? Even if these dreams were played out in a virtual reality the fact remains - the person behind the avatar is real with real emotions and real thoughts. Their mind exists now in two realities. Where does one *intent* stop and the other start?

It is easier to own land and "bling" and "luxuries" in SL but just as these are material objects in SL as in RL the focus of this entry would have to be on the 'humaness' that is brought out thru our avatar representations.

There is no dividing line when it comes to "human' ness" or "being human". The next level down is 'animal' and the next level up is 'of spirit'. As we are clearly more highly evolved than an animal with the ability to reason yet our physicality is being represented by pixels how much of "being human" are we when we engage in connections in SL?

And what is the difference between our engagment with others in SL using our unique personalities as opposed to connecting thru 'spirit'.

Abstract indeed!

You see, I just woke up from a dream and these were my thoughts upon wakening. Perhaps I was still slightly dreaming *smiles*.

*Ysabel yawns and stretches out in bed and yells*

"OMG! I'm late for a photoshoot!"

Another year, another chapter

Another year, another chapter.

I had to finally sort out my photo file. It was atrocious! Of course being a photographer, there isn't a moment that goes by that is not worth capturing so you can imagine the state of my desktop after having been in SL for only a few months.

I found this photo taken at the eve of the New Year. Can't remember the location other than it had a fireworks display. By the time I teleported over, the place was empty. Perhaps it was in a time zone whose New Year's Eve had already passed. I didn't mind. I like 'alone' time. I often take time out for myself in RL just before the New Year arrives to recollect my thoughts and view the past in restropect.

2007 will be a good year. This is the year that will catapult me into another level of 'existence'. Not just living but learning every step of the way more of what I need to improve in, to strengthen and to let go of.

It has been my experience that the even years had always been quite challenging years for me and the odd years were ones that provided me opportunity for much advancement into a more greater awareness of things.


I was alone at the end of the year and alone at the beginning of the New Year. I hope that isn't a sign of the state of things to come.

Be like water

It cleanses, it nourishes, it refreshes.
The earth and our bodies are soley made up of water.

Bruce Lee, one of the best martial arts masters once said, " ... be like water ... as gentle as a drop of rain, or as powerful as a wave that can destroy .. water can take on the shape of any vessel that is occupies .. it can evaporate into the air only to return to the same state ..."

Upon reading that I realized that to live your life as 'water' would be the most natural state. To allow your 'being' to flow thru life's path, not resisting but simply flowing onward. Many people would disagree with this statement, but for me, an observer of life, I have found this to be my truth.

As much I would love to control my destiny and be the keeper of my dreams I have come to see that I am not in control and that I am not the keeper of my dreams. My life is merely a canvas .. and my mind is the paintbrush dipping into my soul ... and creating a wondrous masterpiece.

What will you create with your life?

I was reminded of this as I discovered this beautiful place in SL, The Garden of Bliss.

Now whenever RL or SL gets to be a bit too technical for me, I teleport to this very place .. to be cleansed, to nourish my soul and to refresh my mind.

Friday, January 5, 2007

For Fim ...

Love knows no bondaries, not even in SL.

It comes to you when you least expect it and it washes over you like a huge wave that rolls gently to the shore. It ebbs and flows, ebbs and flows. It replenishes your soul and clears your vision about the world. It caresses your heart and heals the wounds.

I have taken photographs upon photographs about life .. but nothing can capture the feeling of love quite like a song, after it has been written by one who has found it.

I dedicate these songs to Fim.

Power of Love

Tell Him

I Know You're Out There Somewhere

I Will

Thursday, January 4, 2007

Independence Freedom Empowerment

Independence. Freedom. Empowerment.

These three words often whisper themselves in my mind. They have become synonymous with one another. You know, like sex, chocolate and shopping *smiles*.

Having found a Second Life has not only afforded me much freedom but it has also become a very important aspect of my Real Life. An extension if you may, of my physical, my spiritual, my intellectual and my sexual aspects.

They say that life is made up of stories waiting to be finished.

These are mine, chronicled with photographs, as I venture into the unknown of my mind and heart, always learning, always simply just being.

When I decided to create a Second Life and wanted to commemorate the decision with an event that would mark this journey. I went skydiving. Having never skydived in RL, I knew it could not be that difficult in SL.

I sat on the transporter, alone, contemplating on the jump.

The transporter took me to a height of 4000 feet. I jumped and this is what I looked like. My body was willing but it seemed as if other parts of me were not. Figures, the story of my life.

My parts finally caught up with one another and as I began to descend rather quickly .. I realized I did not know how to operate the parachute ...

... which resulted in this. I used photoshop to erase the blood that spattered around me.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.